Tag Archives: S.H. TOWNSEND

S.H. TOWNSEND: THE WAR ON WOMEN – CHIVALRY OR OPPRESSION?

6 Dec

S. H. TOWNSEND

This is part three in an ongoing series on the “War on Women” by author S.H. Townsend.

  war 2

Because of the many battles I have fought against my will, my perspective of men and women was even more distorted. I honestly didn’t want to fight, but I’m so glad I had the strength to do so, and I do thank my mother’s partner for that. She did groom me to be a strong woman, despite the other things she misrepresented to me in my young life. My mother was also a strong woman, but she didn’t find her strength until later in life, but I knew she had it in her.

 When I met my husband, to whom I’m still happily married, I told him point blank that the last thing I needed was another man to run my life. He was completely gob smacked by my forwardness and by what I had said to him. I was surprised he didn’t run away, and who could have blamed him? He stayed, much to my chagrin. I honestly tried to push him away and run him off, but he wasn’t budging.

war on women b

 My husband was raised by an older generation. His parents were fourteen years older than my parents when they had him. They were raised by an older generation as well. My husband was taught to open doors for women carry bags and other heavy objects for them, and in general how to conduct himself in the presence of the fairer sex. (This was another term I hated with a passion.) He was brought up to be a complete gentleman, but I was certainly no lady. (I’m still not, and that’s okay. I was made for war, not smelling salts.)

 The first time my husband opened the door for me, I looked at him and said, “My arms aren’t broken.” Again, he had a puzzled expression on his face similar to the one he wore when I told him the last thing I needed was another man to run my life. He insisted upon opening doors for me and paying for things, again much to my chagrin. I tried to put a stop to it, but I couldn’t. I even told him that he didn’t stand a snowball’s chance in Hell with me, but he was persistent, and his persistence paid off.

war on women c

  I gave in to my feelings for him, the feelings I kept hidden behind the mask I wore. I was afraid he would hurt and betray me just like the other men in my life had done. Instead, he accepted the terms and conditions of me, my flaws, my distorted perceptions, and my issues, and he loved me. He still loves me.

 Eventually, I got used to being treated like the woman that I am, and I began to like it. It wasn’t so bad, having someone open my door, carry my things, and do the things that I’m actually capable of doing, but it’s nice. Those things didn’t change who I am. It changed my attitude about myself as a woman, but it didn’t make me any less of a strong woman.

  I still have enough backbone for two people, and I am still woman, hear me roar.

 Now I just roar about different things.

 war on women d

 

 

S.H. TOWNSEND: IS THERE A WAR ON WOMEN? QUESTIONS REMAIN UNANSWERED

18 Nov

To my loyal readers:  This is the first column in my series dealing candidly with the so-called “war on women” in the United States. 

war 3

Is there a war on women? If so, how has it affected me? These questions sound like a run of the mill college essay questions for a women’s studies course, don’t they? I find these questions thought provoking.

This is not just a topic limited to the female population of readers. I would like for the men to weigh in as well. I’m fairly sure that men on the sidelines of some of the battles have witnessed injuries, as well as casualties in this war. Maybe the women in their lives have inexplicably found themselves locked in a battle for which they hadn’t prepared.

I too have been thrust into battles for which I had not prepared. In my defense, I wasn’t aware that I needed to prepare for battle. Nobody informed me about this war, but little did I know I was being groomed for it by one of its key players.

war 4

I was raised in an “alternative” household. That’s what they called it during my childhood. To put it into terminology that everyone can fully comprehend, I was raised by a lesbian couple. My brother and I were instructed to keep quiet about it, because had the authorities been alerted, we would have been immediately removed from the home and taken away a mother who loved us and took care of us.

Please understand, I am not trying to turn this into an article about gay couples raising children, nor will I engage in a debate on this topic. My upbringing is imperative to my perspective of the war on women. I understand that people are curious, and I encourage valid inquiries about my upbringing. I also understand that people can be rude and judgmental. I had my fair share of teasing in junior high regarding the fact that I was raised by a lesbian couple.

My mother’s former partner was a misogynist. She abhorred men with a passion. She was proud to be a woman, but she wanted to be treated like man. Her attitude toward both genders left me quite perplexed as a child.

war 2

When my mother’s partner was a child, her identity was stolen from her by her mother. She was forced to wear dresses and have long hair. The same thing was then done to me by her. Gone were my lace dresses and patent leather shoes, replaced by caps, jeans, and tee shirts.

When I became interested in boys, which tends to happen during teenagedom (a term I coined, because teenagers think they rule and reign) my mother’s partner hated every single guy I brought home. She informed me that I was just as good as any man, and none of those boys were worth my time or energy. She was thrilled when I broke my engagement, and angry when I attempted to reconcile with him. We were unable to repair our relationship.

Is there a war on women? I was thrown into this war from birth, and I never even got to choose whether or not I wanted to participate.

How has it affected me? I will discuss how the war has affected me in part two.

war 1

The term “war” should be used to describe battle.

4 Nov

To my loyal readers: 

I’m honored to have S.H. Townsend as a regular contributor to http://www.FreeStatePatriot.  We need to hear what it’s like from someone in the trenches of the so-called “war on women”. I am “greatly” looking forward to her perspective!

This is the first of many insightful columns to come from someone who just may enjoy writing more than anyone I know! While this column was written 2 years ago, I believe you’ll find her style of painting an intimate portrait – refreshing!

   Mark Caserta

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 TRUTHS FROM THE TRENCHES

“Real life realities of today’s conservative woman”

S. H. TOWNSEND 

From author S.H. Townsend:

 I am in the thirty+something year of my life. I’ve been married for over a decade, and I have written a forty book series, and I recently published my first book, Dormiveglia.

I drink too much coffee, I exercise… twice a week. I have two cats, but no children. I don’t embarrass easily, but there are certain parts of my life I don’t put the spotlight on.

I have OCD. GAD, and chronic hemiplegic migraines, and some days, I just have a hard time being me…I can’t remember where this one was from, but I saved them all. Since Ebola has entered the states, I no longer desire to go to medical school:I am a workaholic insomniac coffee addicted perfectionist redhead writer who suffers from OCD and chronic migraines, and aspires to be a best seller and a doctor. Need I say more?

Enjoy her blog as well:

http://confessionsofaredhead-shellye.blogspot.com/

shelley

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This is Ponderous.

 

President Obama was reelected today. I haven’t been this depressed since my husband lost his dream job in August.

 Yes, I am a Republican. Before I continue, I want to make it known that I am not here to debate or argue or badmouth the Democratic Party. People have the right to choose what political party they support, and I am not going to infringe upon that right. I have the right to be a Republican. I always have been, and I probably always will be. So that being said, let me get to the real reason I am composing this blog. Ever since the results of the election were announced, I realize that I have some serious thinking to do.

 Before I go on to this serious thinking, there’s just one thing that bothered me about the election itself. Illegal votes were reported in Hamilton County, Ohio. At this time, no reports have been made as to whether or not the illegal votes have been thrown out and Hamilton County’s ballots have been recounted. I don’t think illegal votes should count, but I’m just an American citizen, what do I know?

 I’m concerned about what is going to happen to my dreams, goals, and hopes, now that Obama has been reelected as president. It’s not that I don’t like Barak Obama as a person, I’ve never met him, and that wouldn’t be a fair judgment call, what I’m concerned about are his policies. Is President Barak Obama a Socialist? I think that’s a fair question because Socialism has been shoved into my face via the media in all forms since 2008 due to the health care reform.

 According to Google, this is what Socialism looks like:

  •  Punishes Success
  • Rewards Laziness
  • Redistribution of Wealth
  • Collective Ownership
  • Large Welfare System
  • Large Invasive Government

Keep in mind, this is not my definition of Socialism, this was provided by Google. It also shows that Socialism can eventually turn to Communism. That’s not what I’m here to discuss at this time.

 Do any of the above aspects and attributes of Socialism fall into Obama’s policies? I know for sure that redistribution of the wealth does fall into his desires for the United States. And forgive me, but I do not agree with the redistribution of my wealth or yours.

 I’m going to use my mother for example. My mother went to nursing school and became an LPN when she was in my age bracket. She had to pay to go to school, save for a few grants. She did not use any loans to pay for her education. She later furthered her education and became an RN. She went back and got several college degrees. She continues to further her education and training for her job. She has money put back for her retirement. Everyone can see that she’s worked hard to get to where she is today.

  Why should she have to share what she’s worked so hard to achieve?

  She did this ALL BY HERSELF. The people with whom she will be forced to share her wealth were not there when she had the ambition to leave her position as a stay at home mum of two so she could become an LPN. They were not there with her those long hours she spent studying. They were not there at her job interview and did not help her get the job. They were not there to help her when she returned to school.

  WHY SHOULD OTHER PEOPLE BE GIVEN HER HARD EARNED MONEY?

 Can somebody please answer that question for me? Why should her money be given to people who did not work for it? I don’t see how that’s fair! Maybe I’m just an evil Republican who has old fashioned values, but I think my mother should get to keep her money that she has worked so hard to earn. I’m her child, and I’m not entitled to it unless she decides to give it to me, and that’s how it should be. I may be poor, but I am not entitled to someone else’s money because I DID NOT EARN IT! It’s as simple as that.

 Here’s another thing, and I don’t know if Obama has been planning on this, but the collective ownership issue is something else with which I do not agree. I’m going to use my landlady as an example. My landlady owns the cottage we live in and we pay her rent. That’s the agreement. It is her cottage. We pay a fee to reside in her cottage. She and her husband built it from the ground up. My husband and I live in the house where she and her husband spent their first years as a married couple. She also owns and lives in (and I think her late husband had a hand in building it as well) the house in front of us. She and her husband obviously worked hard, so why should the government or anyone else have any right to what she and her husband paid off and own free and clear?

  How is that fair to her? And would it be fair to me and my husband if another family decided to move into the cottage with us, since they would have collective ownership of the cottage? It’s private property, and my husband and I are the only other people besides our landlady who have the right to be on the property. It’s the same with cars. I don’t want to share a car that I paid for with other people who did not work to pay for it. They may not take care of it because they didn’t earn it. They didn’t work for it.

  Think about it. How would you like someone using your personal private things, the things that you paid good money for that you worked hard to earn? (Some people don’t even like sharing with their siblings. Imagine having to share your property with people you don’t even know!)

 I also do not think laziness should be rewarded. And believe me, it’s not – at least not for me and my husband. I NEVER want to be rewarded for laziness.

  Do you know how much my husband would get from unemployment after losing his dream job? Only $65.00 per week!  We can’t live on that! Do you know how many food stamps we would get if we signed up for them? Maybe $16.00 if we’re lucky and that’s because the government thinks one of us should have a part time minimum wage job. If one of us had a part-time minimum wage job, the government says we would get close to $200.00 or more. (My husband had a part- time minimum wage job that gave him eight hours per week or less, and do you know how much we qualified for in food stamps? Nothing.)

I have looked for a job since February of 2011. (Writing a book series doesn’t pay anything until the first book is published.) I’ve had TWO interviews since February of 2011. I had a woman look at me and say, “Well, you’re just not going to work.” When I asked why, she snapped at me and said, “I DON’T HAVE TO GIVE YOU A REASON.” So I demanded that she give me my resume back. And she glared at me, and I grabbed it out of her hand and I left!

 TWO INTERVIEWS IN EIGHTEEN MONTHS! Do you know how humiliating that is? And people think I’m not trying? Really? My husband lost his dream job! I was suicidal! We’ve struggled for so long, and this was just such a shocking blow to us. I don’t want to be back on food stamps! I don’t want my husband to be back on unemployment! I DON’T WANT TO LIVE OFF OF THE GOVERNMENT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! I HAVE DREAMS AND THIS IS NOT THE LIFE I WANT FOR MYSELF OR MY HUSBAND! WHAT IS SO WRONG WITH WANTING TO DO MORE THAN JUST SURVIVE?

 Until today, I had dreams. Now all I have are questions. What’s going to happen to my dream now?

 In 2009, I didn’t like the way my life was going, so I decided to change it. I started writing, mostly for an escape because things were really bad. (Now I’m getting beyond the valley of the realness.) My husband and I had nothing but each other, but our marriage was falling apart. He decided to go back to school to better our lives. (That isn’t turning out the way we had hoped it would.) I did not support him because I thought it was a bad idea. I asked him time after time what we were going to do to survive while he was going to school. He gave me one answer and one answer only. He told me that he was going to school and that nobody was going to stop him. (I’m so glad he supports my dream despite the fact that I wasn’t so supportive of his.) I felt like he didn’t really care what happened to us, nor did he love me enough to address my concerns. I resented his lack of concern and he resented my lack of support.

 I started playing game and writing little stories about the characters. One of my friends was totally on board with me. She began adding ideas and listening to me share what was going on in the lives of my characters.

  What was a way of escape became something fun for me to share with my friends. Then, people started saying, “Shellye, you should turn it into a book.” At first I dismissed their suggestions, but when my friend prompted me on numerous occasions to take my ideas and put them into a book, I decided that maybe everyone was on to something. So I slowly began building it into a book.

 Now it has grown into twelve books, and that’s just dividing what I already have into 500 to 600 page books, and I still have at the very least, twelve more to write.

 I’ve worked so hard on this book series. I’ve poured my blood, my sweat, and my tears into it, sometimes all three things, and sometimes in the literal sense. My book has cost me time away from my family and my friends. I have neglected my own needs at times. I’ve had many sleepless nights. There are times I should have been resting, but the story ideas kept coming. There are things I’ve had to say no to because I had work to do. There are calls that I should have been making, but I was in the middle of an important part of the story. There are things I have done and experienced to be a better writer so I can get involved in the character’s emotions and feelings, music I’ve listened to, videos I’ve watched, research I’ve done on things that I am not interested in just to feel what my character is feeling. Countless hours, long days, sleepless nights, and sometimes not leaving my house for days, sometimes ignoring social networking sites. And I did it because I want to be a success. First, I escaped, second, I had fun, third, I believed in myself, and fourth, I want to take care of myself and my family. I think I’ve earned that.

 Does Obama think I’ve earned it? That’s my biggest concern.

 This is what I’ve been told. If I don’t go after what I want, I will never have it. I want to be a best- selling author. Call me pretentious, but I think I have a chance. But now, I’m faced with the possibility of throwing it all away. Forgive me, but I don’t think anyone has a right to my book or its earnings unless they helped me work on it. My supporters have a right to it. My friend and editor, Carrie, she has a right to it. My husband has a right to it. That’s why it’s so important that I succeed, because my husband is counting on me, my family is counting on me, and the people who put work and effort into the book alongside me, they are counting on me.

  I don’t want the government to take that away from me! That’s why I didn’t vote for Obama! I didn’t vote FOR Romney, I voted AGAINST Obama.

  And I don’t agree with Romney’s view of women. It’s true, Republican men in power do not have any respect for women. I know this. Republican males see the world and their political party as a boy’s club. I’ve never agreed with that, and that’s because I am a strong woman. I was raised by a strong woman.

  I didn’t vote for Obama because I don’t agree with Socialism. I voted AGAINST Obama because I believe in Capitalism. If that makes me a horrible person, let the record show that I am a horrible person. Shout it from the rooftops, declare it in your cities and your schools, whatever you have to do, just do it! I take full responsibility for my horribleness!

 I have worked hard, and I dare anyone to tell me that I haven’t! I am sick to death of people and their assumptions. If I hear one more person tell me I’m not going to make it, I may punch them right in the face! (Yes, you may take that seriously. I mean that.) But I’m not going to let the government take it away from me either.

  I don’t want to throw away two years worth of hard work, blood, sweat, and tears… But I will if I have to share credit and/or money with strangers who didn’t work for it or earn it because they don’t deserve it. If I’m wrong, then I’m wrong. If I’m evil, then let it be decreed that I’m evil because I don’t want to share my hard earned wealth with someone who didn’t earn it, or someone who is not entitled to it.

  It is my dream, and I will share my wealth with the people of my choosing. If I cannot, then, I will be the one to make the decision to kill it. I don’t want to see my work go down the drain, but I WILL NOT let the government take credit for it or redistribute my earnings from it! If I succeed, I should be rewarded for it. Not you. Not people who are too lazy to try to get a job (as if there are any real jobs these days); not the government; and yes, you can quote me.

 I thought I was the one who decided where my dream would go from here.

 

Maybe not…

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